I'm single and happy (apart from 2 for 1 meal offers)!

I am a single woman.

Turns out this makes me a lesser being. Someone who deserves your pity or, worse, guidance on how this disastrous state of affairs can be resolved.

I accept that sounds a little extreme. And I’m not trying to rail against the world in a bitter, victim type rant (I thought I’d leave that for a later blog...) but since becoming single I have noticed a difference in the way I am viewed.

‘Evidence, please’ I hear you demand. (Look, I live alone, hearing voices is normal, OK?). Well first, let’s look at food. No, I’m not going to say how awful it is eating out by yourself with everyone starting at you. I used to work away from home a lot and frankly what’s not to love? I’m sat in a restaurant I’ve chosen, eating what I want and watching lots of couples making awkward conversation and looking like they would rather be at the dentist.

No, my bone of contention is the “two mains for one” offers. Forgive me but that is basically a half price offer isn’t it? Well, try asking for your single main course for half price instead. I have (no, I really have) and they won’t do it. Discrimination I say. 

Then you have social situations. I have quite a few single friends so most of my time is spent with like minded people. However, when I find myself in the company of couples, things can be a little uncomfortable. Firstly, there are the ‘parties’ you are invited to where you find that you are the only single person. Of itself, not necessarily a problem but then the question is asked. If you’re single you will probably know the question – “why are you single?” Possibly the most ridiculous question ever.  I’m still trying to work out a suitable answer. I’ve tried various approaches. Asking ‘why are you married?’ with a suitable tone of incredulity did not work well. Neither did pretending I’d buried my ex under the patio. I’m guessing that they don’t really want a detailed explanation of how my relationship broke down but it may bore them into submission. Perhaps I’ll try that.

I’ve also noticed sudden changes in behaviour. Your secret is mentioned and, after the pitying looks, suddenly you find some people need to mark their territory with hugs, strokes of the arm and meaningful looks at their partner. Well really! Is that necessary? Not least with the heavily emphasised introduction they have made to their partner and references to how long they’ve been together!

Finally there’s the unsolicited advice on how I should ‘snare’ a man. Obviously internet dating comes up a lot – but that’s a whole separate blog. Another common one is ‘acting helpless’ in a supermarket. I’m not sure I am clear about how to be helpless in a supermarket? It’s not a complicated place is it? Besides who would you attract that way? Someone more suited to being a carer rather than a partner, I suspect.

So what’s the solution? I would love it if being single wasn’t commented on as if it was some kind of a deficient state. If people could view it as being as normal as being in a relationship. Recognise even that single people are often happy being single. Honestly.

Now – where are there speed dating events in Exeter... 

By Ali