Why am I a magnet for unusual people when I travel?

In the last few months I’ve used public transport more and more, not least to get to London in my search for a new job. For all my moans about the cost, delays and overcrowding, public transport is relatively cheap and convenient given petrol, parking and accommodation costs. However that convenience is mitigated by the experience. Or it has been for me.

I appear to have become a bit of a magnet for “unusual” people. There have been the oddly sinister incidents. I realise people fall asleep on trains and I’ve been subjected to the head falling on my shoulder etc. However, on one trip I was surprised to learn that sometimes a hand can ‘accidently’ fall into my lap – but after a scream and the helpful intervention of a fellow passenger I am sure that the guilty man found alternative transport from Reading home!

More memorable, although as embarrassing, was a journey back from London. As the train pulled into Bristol, my carriage was largely empty. The doors opened and the faint sounds of someone singing ‘Mistletoe & Wine’ wafted gently in the air. The song got louder and louder until, wouldn’t you know it, the ‘singer’ sat down next to me. Well, clearly a singer needs an audience and so the empty seats all around held no attraction. He didn’t miss a beat, continuing to sing as he sat down. My MP3 player was in the rack above my head, a schoolgirl error, so I was stuck. In Cliff music hell. From Bristol to Exeter I was treated to many different Cliff songs. Highlights? Well, Wired for Sound was pretty special but for me, his version of Devil Woman that appeared to be dedicated to me (he turned to face me, there was pointing etc) takes some beating and will live long in my memory.

It happens on buses too. There was the shoulder blade stroker who sighed with ecstasy and the conversationalists, for example about whether Exeter really exists or is just part of a shared fantasy. There was the manic waver who moved around every seat in the bus to wave at me. He eventually got distracted by waving at other buses – I felt vaguely snubbed.. Then there was the clearly troubled bus driver who decided Heavitree Road was a suitable place to overtake cars at speed.

Yesterday I caught a cab in London. It all started normally and we got on to the subject of football. His son had just signed for the youth academy of a Premier League team and so we talked about that, England and, of course, Exeter City. His theory was that our game was falling apart because keepers kicked the ball rather than throwing it out. It was a fun, light hearted conversation and we put the football world to rights until he suddenly announced that he should have married me instead of his wife and would I go out on a date with him to a match and see where it went from there. This seemed a little forward given it was based on a 20 minute conversation. Odd even. Don’t go buying a hat just yet, dear reader. Call me unrealistic but I’m holding out for something a little more substantial! Though if you’re interested, I have his number...

So after all these incidents and more I have decided to try and manage the situation more proactively. I now adopt a range of strategies to try and put people off. If it’s a long train journey I buy smelly food and open it as soon as I sit down. I also put out boxes of tissues and affect a cough. I also keep my MP3 player to hand at all time. Eye contact is a no no. Basically, I have become a Londoner!

So far, this has had the deterrent effect I was looking for. On a crowded train from London yesterday, the seat next to me was the last to be taken and I was soon left alone again. So I’m hoping I have solved the problem... although a large part of me worries that there will some niche group of people who find smelly food and and colds hugely fascinating. 

By Ali

Have you had an amusing journey? You can contact us at ted@thedailyuk.com