Navigating Christmas with Dementia
Following new research last week from Alzheimer’s Society which found 65% of dementia family carers felt ‘robbed’ of a care-free and joyful Christmas, The Filo Project, a local not-for-profit dementia day care provider is sharing expert advice to help Devon families navigate the festive period and support their loved ones with dementia to feel involved in home festivities.
The busy changes to many families’ routines and home environment at Christmas-time can be challenging for relatives or friends who have dementia. Decorations suddenly appearing, noisy family gatherings and changes in meal times can be disorientating, but Christmas can also offer valuable opportunities for people to reminisce about past happy memories and feel valuable by contributing to family festivities.
The Filo Project offers unusual, award-winning dementia day care in Devon, including Bideford, Taunton, Torquay, Tiverton, Brixham, Exeter and Plymouth whereby hosts welcome into their homes small groups of socially isolated older people with early to moderate dementia. The day is led by clients’ interests and abilities, and feels like a relaxed day with friends.
Libby Price, Co-Director of The Filo Project explains:
“Our ethos at The Filo Project is all about understanding and respecting that everyone’s experience of dementia is different and one-size does not fit all. If you can flex your festivities to what your loved one is interested in and still able to do, you’ve got a greater chance of a more relaxed, fulfilling time where everyone can feel involved.
“There’s no doubt that caring for someone with dementia is challenging, but we believe that with the right support for both the person living with the condition and their family, people can still live well with dementia and feel part of a family Christmas.”
The Filo Project host Merle Weiner, from Exeter, will host four people with dementia in her home on Christmas Day itself. She says,
“When one of my clients told me that they were not able to see their family on Christmas Day I suggested that they spend the day with me in my home. Three other clients will also be joining us. We’re going to enjoy a traditional Christmas meal, followed by some singing and charades and then listening to The King’s Speech.
“My advice for families preparing for Christmas with a family member who has dementia, is to allow them to help as much as they can and want to. Christmas morning might jolt a memory of putting the turkey in the oven – let them help if they want to do that.”
Tips for navigating Christmas with dementia include:
Stick to routine where you can
If your loved one has set meal times, music they like to listen to in the mornings, or a favourite spot to sit in, try to maintain this over the Christmas period.
If they’re going to be in a different environment, such as a relative’s house, bring along something familiar from home and let them know what’s going to happen but don’t overwhelm them with information.
Get everyone involved – as much of as little as they want
Tap into your loved one’s interests and remaining capabilities rather than focusing on what they can no longer do. If they love music, you could play some favourite Christmas songs and have a dance; keen cooks might like to help peel the veg; while green-fingered types might like to join in wreath-making. Go at their pace and don’t overdo it.
Help others know what to expect
If the person with dementia has changed since their friends and family last saw them, let them know how. You could encourage family to keep conversations straight-forward and help them know how to involve the person in activities so they don’t feel left out.
Avoid overstimulation
Limit competing noises by turning off the TV while people are talking, and try to reduce unnecessary noise such as crackers and loud music. Keep activities short and consider creating a ‘quiet space’ if the person feels overwhelmed. This might be a separate room if available, or simply offering the person headphones so they can listen to music to block out noise and feel calmer.
Look after the carer too
Caring for a loved one with dementia can be a very lonely experience and even when they have friends and family around, many feel isolated.
If you have a friend or relative who is a dementia carer, one of the best gifts you can give them is your time and undivided attention. Ask them how things are going and really listen to what they are saying without offering opinions or advice, unless they ask for it.
If you’re the carer, try not to put too much pressure on yourself to recreate Christmas as it once was. Enjoy the day for what it is, accept help when it’s offered and try to find time to do something just for you.
For more information about The Filo Project visit www.thefiloproject.co.uk or call 0333 939 8225.
